be careful what you wish for...

they say that when you finally reach your dream, it'll be some kind of a bliss... kind a touching the clouds and feeling the soft breeze of air... saying, "this is life!"

i'm a foot away from it... reaching a dream... grasping something that i have been waiting for some years now... and yet why does it feel that i'm in a nightmare. wala pa nga e. but i feel so afraid.

am i in a wrong place? shall i reach it in a wrong time?

"be careful what you wish for..."
this is true. 'cause you might really get it all and some freebies that you wish you wouldn't have or you would not want to go through.

i think this is the second time i went through something like this. sometimes i think to myself and contemplate, is it me??? is the wrong thing is this grand picture is me being in it. i try to convince myself that i somehow deserve to get this great things. but at the end of the day, i doubt myself. what have i done, truly, to have this.

what is it in me that deserves this than others?

well, the thing that scares me the most is having someone ask, "WHY?"... "bakit sya?"...

i'm not sure if i'll be hearing these words again. i'm so frightened that these words will haunt me again. been there... i hold on... but it was not a smooth ride.

sabi nila, don't predict negative things.

"It is learning how to have a heavenly view that helps us to know joy no matter what happens in our lives."

i hope i can learn to do this... have a heavenly view in everything that happens to me. whether it's a good experience or a not so good one.

oh, well. that's just my rumbling for the hour. wala na din ito later. hahaha!